How to tell your young child they have a disability: A guide for parents.
- Dr Michalle Hutcheson
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
by Marni Stewart
Explaining to a young child that they have a disability can be challenging and emotional. However, with careful planning, thoughtful language, and a loving approach, you can help your child understand and positively accept their disability. Here are some steps and tips to guide you through this important conversation.
Step 1 – Prepare yourself:
Before talking to your child, take some time to process your own emotions and gather information, understand your child’s condition thoroughly will help you explain it clearly and confidently. Consider talking to professionals, such as doctors or therapists, to get advice on how to approach the conversation.
Step 2 - Choose the Right Time and Place:
Select a quiet, comfortable, and private setting where your child feels safe. Ensure there are no distractions and choose a time when both you and your child are calm and relaxed. This will create an environment conducive to open and honest communication.
Step 3 - Use Simple and Positive Language:
When explaining the disability, use age-appropriate language that your child can understand. Focus on the positive aspects and emphasize that having a disability is just one part of who they are. Here’s an example of how you might start the conversation:
“Everyone is different in their own special way. Some people wear glasses to help them see better, and some people use wheelchairs to help them move around. You have something called [name of the disability], which means you might need a little extra help with [specific challenges].”
Step 4 - Encourage Questions:
Give your child the opportunity to ask questions and express their feelings. Answer their questions honestly and reassure them that it’s okay to feel a range of emotions. Be patient and provide simple, clear answers. If you don’t know the answer to a question, it’s okay to say so and offer to find out together.
Step 5 - Highlight Strengths and Abilities:
Help your child understand that having a disability doesn’t define them. Emphasize their strengths, talents, and the things they enjoy doing. Reinforce that they are capable and valued. For example:
“Even though you might find some things more challenging, you’re amazing at [activity or talent]. Everyone has things they’re good at and things they find harder. What matters is that we try our best.”
Step 6 - Reassure Them of Your Support:
Let your child know that they are not alone and that you, along with other family members and professionals, are there to support them. Reassure them that you will work together to find ways to overcome challenges and achieve their goals.
Step 7 - Provide Resources and Support:
Introduce your child to resources such as books, videos, or support groups that can help them understand their disability and connect with others who have similar experiences. This can foster a sense of community and reduce feelings of isolation.
Step 8 - Keep the Conversation Ongoing:
Remember that this conversation is not a one-time event. Be open to revisiting the topic as your child grows and their understanding evolves. Encourage ongoing dialogue and be available to answer questions and provide support whenever needed.
Summary
Telling your young child about their disability requires sensitivity, honesty, and a lot of love. By preparing yourself, choosing the right moment, using simple language, and focusing on their strengths, you can help your child understand their disability in a positive light. Remember, your support and reassurance are crucial in helping them navigate their unique journey.
Tips
- Be honest and direct
- Keep it factual and simple
- Emphasize similarities and shared interests
- Use person centred language emphasizing the person, not their disability (e.g., person with a disability)
Other resources and guides to starting the conversation
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